I wrote back to thank her for her willingness to admit the idea of "maybe she saw her childhood self in her daughter, so she didn't accept her even more", because if you can see this, the problem will be solved slowly. I asked her in the letter, "If you had the same problem as your daughter when you were young, how would you like the adults to treat you at that time? How do you think the adults will improve you, have the courage, and not be shy?" Her response was: "I hope adults can understand that I'm not being rude. Don't force and blame me. Give me time.
Encourage praise when I'm doing right." So, I wrote back to Photo Manipulation Services demonstrate some dialogue methods: Adult: "Xiaomei, why don't you say hello?" Child: "Because...I'm shy and I'm scared." Adult: "I understand, so do you wish you could say hello bravely?" Child: "Hope..." Adult: "Yes, you wish you could say hello bravely, but you can't, can you?" Child: "Yes." Adult: "Mom knows that although you didn't say hello to anyone, you've actually tried very hard, haven't you?" Child: "Yes!" Adult: "Xiaomei, do you like this self who works hard and wants to be brave?" Child: "I like it!" Adult: "Mom likes it too. I admire you who are willing to work hard and be brave."
(The child feels accepted and understood at this time) Adult: "Then next time you try harder, you will do it one day, okay?" Child: "Okay!" (embracing each other) After a while, the mother replied that such a conversation made her feel accepted and understood, and that adults would listen to her. She can be herself and doesn't need to do things she doesn't want to do because she is afraid of being scolded. She understood how to deal with her daughter. Many times our disapproval of children comes from the disapproval of adults in our childhood.